The Way I Live My Life

Everyone has their own way to live their lives; their own way to process things, and their own way to grow.  I am not saying my way is better.  Just sharing my thought and maybe you will find something that benefit you somehow.

Years ago, I found out the way I related to people was complaints and telling misfortunate stories of my life.  I learned it from my mother because that was the only way she knew how to connect to people. When I saw that of me, I was shocked.  I decided that this is not going to be my way of life.

Through years of reading self-help materials and working my personal healing, I was able to make 100% peace with myself.  Making peace, in the beginning was about finding self love, self value, self worth, self respect and self acceptance. Every time I found an issue related to these topic, I would track down the emotional programs and balance it.  I use muscle test to test on the percentage on all of subjects. It took a few years but I was able to reach 100% on all of them.

Eventually, what was important about self love, self value, self worth and self respect and self acceptance became completely irrelevant. Other's people's opinion regarding me and what other thinks of me is no longer my business.  I am immune of other's opinion of me.

This is very freeing. Yet at times, people gets really angry at me because they are not getting the response they wanted.

I am not necessarily a nice person all the time. I just be, however I am at any given time. Because I am no longer emotionally attached to other people's opinions, I would just say what I think and what I want to say. My only rule to myself is that I would not use my words intentionally hurt people. I always try to help people free themselves from their circumstance or their attachment to the outcome.

Sometimes people do expect you to say what they want to hear. People like this tend to get upset about what I said.  But that's life isn't it? I remember many times clients gets really upset about what I said and walked off without paying me.  I also often get thank you letters or positive testimony years later because they finally realized what I said helped them even though they did not want to hear it at the time.

Some people hates me for the way I am and some really loves me for it.  Isn't this how it is anyways even if you sensor your words?

I don't argue with reality.  If you had read Byron Katie's "Loving What Is" you would know what I mean.  What ever happened is reality.  If we keep saying: "You should have..." "He should have...." and "you shouldn't have...." you can just keep staying angry because what happened already happened and no one can time travel to change anything.

Anything in reality that emotionally irritates me, bothers me, There has gotta be emotional programs, certain beliefs that isn't necessary true, or past memories associations.  So I would track them down and balancing emotional programs, challenge my beliefs, or just keep rehearsing new scenarios I like in my mind so I can create new emotional associations (neural-network).

Negative emotional response to anything is a very powerful thing.  It is almost like the Universe is reminding us that we have a bomb and someone or something triggered it. We can remove the trigger, but the next time there is another trigger, the bomb still blows up. When we remove the bomb, there will be no trigger. There won't be anymore negative emotional response.

So I always use the method I mentioned on the previous articles, identify the emotional programs and balance them. When you balanced the emotional effect from the meridian dimension, the emotions disappear. The program no longer has a negative output of emotions. Occasionally the Universe would show me other methods that is more suitable for certain cases, I would adopt it right away. I think the Universal collective consciousness is definitely smarter than me.

It is really nice to have a tool like this because I had loads of programs that no longer benefit me. I am determined to clean out the programs that no longer serves as a positive influence in my life.

Here is the reason I say "programs that no longer serves as a positive influence": People tend to think that negative emotions are all negative to our lives.  The truth isn't so.  Some negative emotions can be very helpful in our lives depending on what, where and when the emotions occur.

Sometimes we are angry at something but we don't speak up.  Maybe at the time what we really need to learn from the lesson is to speak our truth. The anger plays a very important role as a motivator.  However, not every case is the same. You may ask me how you can discern the difference. When you can muscle test with a clear intention and no attachment, you can actually access that information.

I think every negative emotion had its purpose at one point. After it provided the purpose, we can release it and remove the program.

Personally, I prefer being immune to my surroundings if you know what I mean. No one can emotionally manipulate or blackmail me into doing anything. I am happy in my own skin and whatever I do. Everything I do is out of my own intention. There is definitely an unspeakable freedom in this kind of life. :o)

In the recent two years or so, I began to see how things and people around me change very rapidly after I change my programs.  I can see that there is definitely a shift in the attractor patterns and what attitude I attract from people.

I also saw myself change in the past two decades from a 90% masculine energy expression and a 40% feminine energy moving up to having 100% on both. I was a tomboy growing up.  When I was in my teens, I did not want to be a girl. when I was 50, I began to realize that even though I could live the rest of my life with the same energy set up, but I would certainly be missing out on an experience that someone with 100% male and 100% female energy can have. So I decided to look into the programs that blocks the 60% female energy and the 10% of male energy.

It was a month long personal retreat when I worked on these topics.  I did take time off whenever I feel like to. During the process, I could feel the shift in my energy as well as my physical movements. I even saw my aesthetics shifted dramatically. I began to appreciate clothing, shoes that are more feminine.

I just wanted to share my personal experience so you know that a person's personality is not set in stone.  we can change, shift and evolve. And here is a tool. 

Example of an Emotional Program

I wanted to share an experience of mine in my personal life about an emotional program that I identified and balanced recently.  Perhaps it will give you some ideas about what an emotional program is, how to identify it and what the balancing process feel like.

All of this you can do perhaps with the help of a few close friends who are not closed minded.

A close friend of mine complained that I was cold and uncompassionate when he needed comforting.

In my experience that I had previously identified, I really really dislike people who are emotionally needy, particularly those who want you to be nice and sweet to them, listen to their misery, sometimes repeated stories or something that happened a long time ago that they refuse to heal from because it is a good way to get love and attention. If you don't offer the sweetness and kindness they are looking for, their attitude turn 180 degrees around and get pissed off at you.

One of my sisters is like that.  So I decided to stay away from her.  Well, I thought I could just stay away from her and get my peace, but apparently I must have attractor patterns(also emotional program) that attract other people who would do the same to me.

So this time, I decided to take some time and look at what the program is that keeps attracting the same experience into my life. Perhaps this time, after I balanced my attractor pattern, I would finally stop running into the same kind of situation.

Normally I can access most of the programs using my intuitive ability. Occasionally, I would need to get my friends to help with brainstorming if I can not get the storyline myself.  This is one of the cases that I pretty much drew a blank. I called a couple of my friends to help me brain storm.

Having been a kinesiologist and using my intuitive ability for years, I developed a keen sense of "yes" or "no" inside.  It means, when I hear something, I would know whether it is closer to the truth, or far from truth.  Like a muscle test inside of me that tells me "yes" or "no", "correct" or "incorrect".

If you can learn to use muscle test, it would make the process much easier.  Just look up "self muscle testing" or "solo muscle testing" on Youtube.  It does take time to practice to get the proper force application. Muscle testing is NOT something you can master in minutes.  When I learned the one-hand-solo muscle testing, it took me almost a month of everyday practice. (A few minutes a few times every day.)

Basically, you can converse with the Universe using "play 20 questions" kind of way. An emotional program can be short or long.  Sometimes it is only one scene with a feeling, sometimes it can be a long played out story with lots of twist and turns. Jut remember, if it is a long one, be sure to ask the Universe whether you have enough information to start the balancing process.

So, here it is:

In this story(program), I was a concubine of a prince in a small country somewhere in Europe in the 9th century.

The prince had many wives. One of them was my sister, who is not only emotionally extremely needy, she also somehow figured out how to sweet talk and manipulate the prince to give her whatever she wanted all the time. She gained some political power, which was what I wanted. I resented her for that.

I was emotionally disconnected but had a very clear analytical mind. I despised my sister's behavior and stayed distance with her and the prince.  The reason I was married to the prince was because the prince's father, the king, valued my analytical ability.  He consulted me in many of his political decisions and had great results. I agreed to the marriage because I was ambitious about political power.

Because my sister's won most of the prince's attention, other prince's wives had became very jealous of her. The main wife decided to plot a conspiracy against her.

The main wife of the prince took an opportunity when the king's daughter, the princess, went on a trip.  She and another concubine set up a fake murder evidence of the princess' dead body. She framed my sister for the murder. The king was enraged and killed my sister, burn me to death and executed everyone in my family.

Later on the king found out that the other concubine was the one that set up the fake evidence, he thought she was the only conspirator. So he executer her too. However, Prince's main wife was never caught for her involvement in plotting the fake murder.

Connections between Emotions and Body

I was a fitness trainer that studies advanced biomechanics.  please refer to "Neuro-Emotional Reprogramming" for my background information.

At young age, I used to talk to people who were deceased. I couldn't see them but I could communicate with them if they want to communicate with me. I had a couple of ghost friends at the time. They were all children.  As schooling got busy and competitive, I no longer had time to bum around. Eventually I forgot that part of my life.

Growing up, I had trouble reading and memorize text, but I had picture memory and was really good with object and spacial relationships. Needless to say, I always scored high in geometry and barely made my grades in Chinese Mandarin. It is not until later days when I realized that I am somewhat dyslexic. I still am. Many people ask me, how can you write? Well, I don't have trouble writing. Maybe I write at a slower pace than others.  I do, however, have some difficulty going back to read it and proof read my writing.

When I was studying biomechanic, I learned that human have a limited neurological effort.  If one does shoulder press sitting on a bench that supports his back, he can press a lot more weight than doing the same motion while standing. One shoulder presses less weight while standing because some of his total neurological effort is spread to keeping his whole body stable so that there are less strength available for the shoulder press.

Through the experience of my work, I realized that this situation also applies to our brain activity.  We have limited neurological effort available for our brain. When we are really good at something, we are bound to perform poor at some other things.

Like me, I am really poor at memorizing text, names of people and places, titles of songs, books and movies. however, I am brilliant in biomechanics, common physics, special visualizations, associations and correlations, logic processing, independent thinking. I have picture memories, and I remember people's voices and can recognize their voices after many years. I am really good at seeing things in a whole picture and broader perspective.

I have observed people in their brain power in my everyday life as well.  I have noticed that there are many people who are really good at memorizing text of certain information, yet they can not read a map or are directionally challenged. Some are math genius yet are emotional idiots.

I came to a conclusion, I accepted limitations as normal and focus on what is great and powerful. I do this for me, and I treat other people around me with the same principle. I longer ask them to be a certain way, simply, sometimes they are just not capable. Of course, some argue with me about my conclusion. True limitation is normal. Not everybody can learn 20 different languages and not everybody is a math genius. Instead of pushing them to perform better at what they have trouble with, I accept their limitation and try to find out what their brain is good at, and push for that potential.

I even visited an autistic care center and spent time with the clients.  I found out that some of them are brilliant in mind power or have super extra sensory awareness.  Their brain may look malfunction in some ways.  They are brilliant in things that we can not comprehend.

Six Steps to Balance Emotional Programs

You have read "Origin of Human Emotional Response", perhaps you have identified something in your daily life that you have an emotional response to.

I need to stress something here.  Even though Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is widely available and many people teach it to balancing emotions.  From my experience, I found that EFT is often effective in releasing onset undesired emotions, but it is hardly ever balancing the root of the problem.  What I am trying to explain here is, if someone has a trigger of some sort, once triggered by an event or person, EFT can be effective in releasing the emotions.  However, next time the person come across a similar event or situation, the same emotional response will happen again.  And if you use EFT over and over on a recurrent issue, it eventually became ineffective.

In my experience, when we can identify the emotional program that is creating that certain emotional response and balance the program either with EFT or other healing methods, about 90% of the time, that emotional response will not reoccur. Even if it does, it is drastically reduced and/or has a very different emotional response.

After the program is balanced, when we encounter a similar event and had a different emotional response, it means that there are other emotional programs that is related to the emotional response of this event, or just more than one layer of emotions that required balancing.

It is common that one emotional program (meaning one storyline) can have many layers of emotions.  Some programs may have 10 or more layers.

And if we can muscle test (self-test or test by a practitioner), we can easily find out whether the entire emotional response (multiple layers of emotions) is completely balanced or not. If not, you can continue to dialogue with the body and find out what else needed to be done to complete the healing/balancing process.

Emotional Program Balancing:

Identify an incident or event that trigger an undesired negative emotional response within you.

Identify the emotional programs using the process mentioned in Origin of Human Emotional Response , you would muscle test for the number of emotional layers. Each layer usually requires one balancing process. So if you identify 8 layers of emotions, it means that you may need to do 8 balances to resolve the issue completely. You usually can only feel one emotion, even if you had muscle tested and received information for many layers. When you finish balancing one layer of emotion, the next layer of emotion will then surface.

Before you begin the tapping sequence, please make sure you focus on one single feeling in the emotional program. Set your intention on balancing this feeling in the program, and simultaneously think or recite “I completely love, accept, respect myself.”  (Self love statement -SLS). 

And if you can create a connection to ONEness feeling, that would be even better. If you can’t yet, don’t worry about it. 

 

During the tapping process, please allow plenty of time to observe and pay attention to the physical/energetic feeling and shifts in the body. When you feel a shift, then move on the the next step of tapping.

Tap repeatedly at a pace that is comfortable and not distracting for you.

Step 1:


Tap your two hands together as pictured.

Focus in on the feeling and recite the self love statement -SLS a few times during each tapping point.

“I completely love, accept, respect myself.” 

Move to the next step when you feel an internal shift.

Step 2:

Use 4 fingers each hand, tap each side of your head above your ears.

Focus in on the feeling and recite the self love statement -SLS.

Move to the next step when you feel an internal shift.

Step 3

Use 2 fingers to tap above and below the lips at the midline of your face.  

Focus in on the feeling and recite the self love statement -SLS.  

Move to the next step when you feel an internal shift.

Step 4

Use 3-4 fingers to tap your thymus.  It is located between your sternum and collarbones, at the midline of your chest.  

Focus in on the feeling and recite the self love statement -SLS.  

Move to the next step when you feel an internal shift.

Step 5

Tap the five fingers of both hands together. 

Focus in on the feeling and recite the self love statement -SLS. 

Move to the next step when you feel an internal shift.

Step 6

Hold the position of all the finger tips touching and wait until you feel the feeling you were releasing is completely dissolved.

Next:

Move on to the next feeling and repeat the tapping process until all of the feelings in this story line completely disappear.

Important Notes:

1. It is highly recommended to use muscle test to access information on
     a) how many layers of emotions is in this program?

     b) Are there more than one program to work with?

     c) whether it is important to identify a word to describe the emotion?

     d) Is the process complete?

2. Identifying an emotional program may take a few minutes. Occasionally it may take longer, or takes a bit of conversation with friends or a skilled practitioner to help you identify the reoccurring pattern and help guide you to find it.  If you muscle test and receive an answer that the program is not ready to be released or balanced.  That means this emotion still has certain function in your life that is very important to your life or your spiritual growth.

3. One balancing sequence should take somewhere between 2-5 minutes. Occasional emotional outburst is common.  When you encounter an emotional outburst, just stay with it and continue the tapping process. If you feel that you need to let the emotions flow, feel free to do so. Then resume tapping when you are ready.

4. If you can not identify the emotional program at all, go ahead and work with the feelings first. Then go back and try to identify the emotional program again. Sometimes the program will surface at a later time. Occasionally, it is not necessary to identify the program. It is best to muscle test to access the information.

5. If you are working on an emotional response to a current event, and not focus on the emotional program, this process can only relief you temporarily.  It is crucial to focus in onto your emotional programs in order to receive a permanent effect.

6. Very often emotional response that comes from an emotional program also had developed associated memories of neural network. You should ask the body using muscle test whether you need to continue to mentally rehearse a new desired scenario/emotional outcome in your mind and create new neural networks.

Origin of Human Emotional Response

Where Does Our Emotional Response Come From?

Why do we emotionally respond to certain things a certain way?

So far I had identified two different sources.  One is physical, the other is metaphysical.

Physical: Associated Memories of Neural Network

The physical element is about the neural network that our brain had developed during past events.  If you are familiar with Dr. Joe Dispenza's work, he talks about "Brain cells that fire together wire together. Brain cells that wire together, fire together." The following is a short clip of the movie "What the Bleep Do We Know?".

Our brain creates emotional response based associated memories which came from the brain cells that fired together in the past and got wired together. When we encounter a person or an event, based on our similar past experience, the neurons that are wired together from the past experiences, now fire together and create the same associated emotional response.

These emotional response is almost instant and is very difficult to identify.  The feeling is absolutely real, yet, it is only hologram of the past.

Metaphysical: Attractor Patterns/Emotional Programs

The metaphysical source of our emotional response, is what I called emotional programs.  These are some kind of history or memories that may have came from the etheric field in the form of radio signals, that somehow the brain, or our memories picked up.

Some people may refer to these emotional programs as past life events. Personally, I think contributing everything to past life is very limiting. Through experience with client sessions and my person healing, I had identified many types, which in the next paragraph I will explain in detail.  Also from my years of experimenting healing and balancing these emotional programs, I also found that these programs act as attractor patterns that attracts our life events and experiences. Yes, these attractor patterns is the basis of how and why Law of Attraction works in our lives.

The Characteristics of Emotional Programs

(1) first person experience: the story line is always a first person's experience and his/her feelings and emotional responses during one or many events.

(2)  can be small part of a story line or a complete story, occasionally we see multiple unrelated stories entangled together.

(3) There is always strong emotions associated with the experience.  most of the time more than one emotions

(4) storyline is mostly very dramatical, may include tragic loss and death but not limited to these types.

(5) even happy feelings has programs, but usually does not require healing or balancing.

(6) stories are not limited to human/earth experience. Alien or non-physical form experience is also very common.


Types of Emotional Programs:

(1) Childhood events and pre-birth experience

(2) In-womb downloads of mother's experience

(3) Genetic: events associated with ancestor’s experiences, yet it feels very personal.

(4) Other time, other person's experience: events associated with a different time-line as a different person, yet it feels very personal. Many sees this type as past-life experience. Can be human, animal, aliens and so forth.

(5) Limbo experience: character expereince as a being in suspension, may identify this type as in-between-incarnation experience.

(6) Non-physical form consciousness experience

(7) Movie and novel storyline

Identifying Victim Mentality

In our everyday living, when something disturbing happens, whether it was someone said something or did something that we did not like, or simply life circumstances that wasn't going the way we wanted, we usually feel irritated, hurt, frustrated, sad, maybe even become angry, furious, resentful...... or whatever the feeling may be, it is a feeling that most of us would prefer not having.

There are two ways we can process this within us.


Identifying Victim-Mentality 

The common way of thinking is "Because of XYZ, I am feeling 'bad'." (Here 'bad' is used as a representation of all undesired negative feelings)

In this common way, we blame others or circumstance for our agony. The result is that we need others or our circumstance to change before we could feel better.

This is what we called Victim Mentality.

There are many excellent articles out on the internet that describe and explain victim mentality.  The following is just a few of the many I liked: you may also google search Victim Mentality, you will find many brilliant articles.

The Victim Mentality by Osiris Montenegro
Do You Have 'Victim Mentality'? What To Do About It by Morty Lefkoe

Another less common way of inner process is: "Because I expected XYZ to be a certain way, when XYZ did not turn out the way I wanted, I am feeling bad." In this statement, the 'I' becomes the point of origin, whether agony or power. We can take responsibility of how we feel and take action in changing it. We no longer require XYZ to change for us to feel better, we no longer give our power to feel better to XYZ.

And if we decide that we are going to take matter in our own hands and resolve the undesired feeling.  We can figure out different ways to better our feeling without the need for others or circumstance to change.

This is an empowered way of living.  When we practice this attitude often enough, we can easily master our emotional state and constantly and regularly create happy and joyous feelings despite the circumstance or others' words and behaviors.


Take a Closer Look at Victim Mentality

The following part of the article in grey color is part of an article "Say No to the Victim Mentality" published by Cohen's lifestyle clinic

the benefits of the victim mentality

The victim mentality is addictive and can be pretty beneficial in the short term and for instant gratification. 

A few benefits are:

(1) Attention and validation - You can always get good feelings from other people as they are concerned about you and try to help you out

(2) You don't have to take risks. When you feel like a victim you tend to not take action and so you don't have to risk rejection or failure

(3) You don't have to take the heavy responsibility. Taking responsibility for your own life can be hard work, you have to make difficult decisions and it is just tough from time to time. In the short term it can feel like the easier choice to not take personal responsibility

(4) It makes you feel like you are right. When you feel like the victim and like someone else is wrong and you are right then that can lead to pleasurable feelings

By being aware of the benefits you can derive from victim thinking, it becomes easier to say no and to choose to take a different path.

the long term consequences of the victim mentality

How will it hold you back from achieving the goals you deep down dream about in life?

How will it affect your most important relationships?

How does it affect your relationship with yourself?

Be honest with yourself and get motivation to change by seeing how destructively this will affect your life over the next year or even 3 to 5 years from now.

Replace the victim mentality with something more helpful

Gratitude - It is healthy to recognise and accept the initial pain when something goes wrong in life and to not just paint a fake smile on your face. However, after that initial pain is gone you don't have to create more suffering for yourself. Instead, you can tap into gratitude and ask yourself: "Does someone in this world have it worse than me?" and then take a few minutes to think about the small and bigger things you have in my life that you can be grateful for.

Learning and taking action - After tapping into a more grateful frame of mind, you will be more open to getting a good answer out of this next question: “What is one good thing about this situation?” or “What is one thing you can learn from this situation?” You can then follow it up with: “What is one small step you can take to move forward or out of this situation today?” By asking these question and taking some small steps forward over and over in these situations you will build confidence in yourself and while you cannot control everything in life you can build more and more power and influence over your own life and achieve your goals!      

.... The above in grey text is repost from "Say No the the Victim Mentality"

Here is another great article The Victim Mentality that does a great job in explaining details of many levels of victimhood. 

It is common to see one's victim mentality only shows up in relationships and not work place. For example, this person maybe very capable in their job and skills, so there is no problem at work.  But when comes to personal relationships, particularly close or intimate relationships, when the friend or partner says something (or did something) that did not meet one's expectations, they immediately change their attitude to anger or rage, claims that "you wronged him/her" and demand apology.  This is considered as Aggressive victim.  Agressive victim expresses anger and rage to 'combat' other to gain whatever they want, sympathy, kindness or love. 

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  

Many of these articles also offer methods and suggestions of how to get out of victim mentality.  From my kinesiology background, my intuitive ability and my personal healing experience, I found that getting out of victim hood is not easy as a step by step instruction.

It had taken me years to identify a few physical and metaphysical source of these emotional patterns. In order to throughly transform the victim mentality and feelings,  all physical and metaphysical patterns (not necessary childhood experience) needs to be addressed and balanced so that we can truly be free of the victimhood.

Of course, the first step is to identify the victim mentality within us.  The best way I have found is to read all about it, observe others' victim identity, and then self-reflect.  Out of the first three step, self reflect is the most challenging one.

our next article will introduce the physical and metaphysical aspect of the source of our emotional patterns.