My Inner Journey with NVC（No-violent Communication) : part I

A Demo that Deterred Me

14 years ago, my sister in California started learning NVC, a few months later, communication with her became unbearable for me. she was phony, manipulative, full of emotional blackmailing. now I look back, I can say that her behavior was probably the worst demonstration of NVC I have ever seen. Because I value sincerity and honesty greatly, at the time, it really turned me off from NVC.


Reintroduction The Hard Way 

3 and a half years ago, my husband and I had some serious arguments and fights, I snapped. I was trying to figure out how and why the things he said would enrage me. I found NVC. NVC helped me understand that I grew up in jackal language (communication style that create distance and agony) so I consider them as 'normal'. Deep down, jackal language still hurts and the pain accumulates little by little.... until it breaks.

My husband's jackal language spot-lighted all of my adverse childhood experience. It was calling my attention to dive deep so I can heal and become free from my past pattern.


What was my past pattern like? WOW! After three years of precision dissection, let's make it simple, in Sarah Peyton's way of description, my brain cells that allows me to experience warmth, welcome, support, nurturance.... never had opportunity to properly develop. These cells represent feelings quality that we can only experience when we were with company(care-taker as an infant/child). In my childhood, I was left alone a lot. My parents were in emotional distress on a regular basis, they were not able to generate nor reflect those feelings in our interactions, so these feelings simply did not exist in my experience. The bright side is: I developed a sense of independency and can feel calm and at ease when I am on my own.


Ah-ha Moment 😧

The problem was that 9 out of 10, when there was someone around me, I was in the position of being bullied, yelled at, scolded, punished, shamed, blamed or humiliated. Unconsciously, I embodied and adopted the way I was spoken to. For 50+ years I managed to bury the pain so deep I didn't even remember them. These experience were awakened by my husband's expertise in jackal language. This is not to blame him. I feel that I may very likely be as good, if not better, a total Jackal. I know I am very good at using 'shaming' as a defensive strategy. 

I am a jackal expert working on expanding my expertise into giraffe language(communication style stimulates warmth and connections). 😃

Surprise! Surprise !

You may be wondering why I married my husband.  Yeah, five years ago it seemed like such a great idea because we were so much alike.  We even talk alike.  I was a super jackal too and never recognized the truth until a couple of years into the marriage being on the receiving end of Super Jackal language. 😆


This truth really saddens me, reflecting on all of those who knew me and spent time with me as my friend, were all victims of my awful communication style. Sign！I wish I knew better, it would have saved me and my friends from a lot of grief. 😢

New Possibilities

I know if I want to have great experience in life, and have deeper connection with people, I have to develop my brain's capacity to feel warmth, welcome, support, nurturance...... and a whole lot more, also learning how to create all of those for others.  Thanks to Micheal De Buitlear (Irish trainer for NVC, now a friend) who helped me identify the need/desire 'feeling safe in the company of others' which had been in my blindspot all my life until a few days ago.

It's Never Too Late

In Dr. Daniel Seigel's book 'Mindsight' he mentioned a patient of his at age 92, managed to create a more connected relationship with his wife and himself.
I feel very hopeful and excited to see these needs surface so that I can look into the process of healing, reshaping and reprograming my old pattern. I know in the future I can navigate my life with more ease, more joy and more excitements. Maybe I can even become trigger free.


Back to the story about my sister and her practice of NVC 14 years ago.


I have always wondered why NVC expressed through her would become so creepy. Do you want to know what I found out? After 10+years of investigation, the conclusion is....... her focus was on her own gain and what NVC can get her. she needed the attention of others and she was sharing her feelings as means to manipulate situation and receiving attentions. For her, NVC was not about how she can offer empathy to others, and to connect to others. It was the heart and soul of NVC that was missing. NVC truly embodied, will make a significant difference in your life. It already did with mine.  I suppose expansion of the mind is never too great!

Emotions that shut down the muscular system

Around 2001 or 2002, While I was working for a chiropractor in Raleigh, NC as a MAT practitioner, I found a significant number of cases where client's muscle shutdown has to do with their negative emotions/feelings.

quote from a previous post:"Connections between Emotions and Body"

When I took my MAT certification, The practical exam is to do a full body balance on Greg, the founder of the program. After I finished the practical exam I asked him, "If you are getting MAT done on yourself on a regular bases, why do you still have so many muscles that are shut down?" He replied: "Stress."

I didn't quite get the whole picture at the time. Later on when I work with clients at the chiropractor's office, I began to see more and more cases of muscle shut down causing aches and pains because of emotional stress.

Note: "Muscle shut down" is a term folks in MAT program used to describe the muscle not firing properly on demand. When the body moves, the entire muscular system function as a tight knit of force endurer. when we move, walk, play sports, the muscular structure is creating a balance between our strength, our weight, gravity, and the movement. When one muscle in the chain does not provide proper support at the instant of movement (demand), the force is displaced onto other parts of the body, whether it be muscles or joints. Eventually, that force causes pain.

In the cases that muscles shut down due to injuries, or physical stress, MAT was brilliant in restoring the muscle firing ability. In the cases of emotional imbalances and energy(meridian) imbalanced that contributed to the muscle shutdown, MAT treatment can only hold the results for minutes or seconds. The use of nutritional supplements also have very limited long term results. Usually those Chiropractors who uses AK will muscle test which nutritional supplement strengthens the system, and recommend clients taking the supplement on a regular basis to keep the system strong. In my observation, some cases the supplements works great in keeping the energetic system balanced, but in some cases the results are also very short lived.

I begin to experiment in working with the mind and emotions, to see how long the effect last. And to my surprise, when clients change their emotions that was the contributor of a muscle shutdown, the muscle fires up without any kind of treatment.

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Of course, there were many cases client left after a MAT session and felt great, they also let me know afterwards that their problem went away permanently. 

So you understand that my intention is not to put down MAT.  

In fact, the reason I was hired by the chiropractor was that he had a ACL injury from a skiing accident years before I met him.  Even thought his ACL was surgically repaired, but he always had on-and-off pain with his knee. When I worked on him in my job interview, the pain completely disappeared. He was an athlete and he could tell that the leg and knee felt balanced. He hired me on the spot. 

For my personal experience with MAT treatments, certain problems I had, MAT was excellent, yet some conditions of mine even puzzled Greg during the 10 month internship (classes). 

for example, I had a rupture PCL on my right knee from an old motorcycle injury when I was 20 years old. After years of teaching aerobics, running, and weight-lifting, my right knee began to deteriorate. Eventually I was told by doctors and physical therapists that I would need a thigh-to-calf casted brace to support my knee for the rest of my life. But with MAT, during the 10-month classes while all students practice on one another, the knee pain was first minimized, eventually completely gone. (I am still pain free and can exercise at will.)

I also had plantar fasciitis and could not stand on hard surface barefoot for more than a few minutes, and I had been wearing casted orthotics for 8 years at the time I took MAT classes.  Sometime during the internship, I was able to rid my orthotics completely and walk, play sports and run without any pain. I used to have to only wear running shoes because of the foot pain and orthotics inserts.  Since the MAT treatments, I was finally able to wear sandals again. Thank God for MAT. 

The above is my personal successful experience with MAT.  

I also had a condition where my anterior neck muscles have always tested weak in muscle testing. I usually have some difficulty holding my head in place when I do supine abdominal crunches.  During MAT internship, Greg made many attempt but could never get lasting results for more than a few minutes. Of course I would like to say that I have found another cure for this condition, but I had been experimenting with many modalities, so far I had not found anything that would solve this problem.  Because of this, I continue to learn many alternative therapies, including Reiki, many forms of energy healing, crystal healing, aroma therapy, Qigong....... so far some methods had helped in a short term or gave a tiny bit of improvement.  I am pretty sure someday I will find a way to fix it.  Although I am really not in a hurry to get this solved. After all, there is really no significant aches and pains that is caused by this condition whatsoever. 

I am not sure if I got my point across. What I was trying to share with you is that I do think there is a place for MAT, I also think that MAT is limited to what it can do.

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so, back to the main topic.

Besides many successful one session wonders, I also discovered some cases were different. Clients may walk out of a session feeling great with all the muscles restored. But they would come back the following day with exact same issue and condition (same muscles shutdown), or something that is different but still with a lot of shutdowns.  After a few of these cases, I started to became dissatisfied with MAT process. I want to be able to take the problem away for these clients, and not charging them for the same treatment over and over.  

My understanding is,  if a client comes back for a follow up treatment with the same muscle issues within a few days, I didn't get to the source of the problem. personally, I would not feel good about charging my clients for the sessions if I can not solve the problems.  If I only gave them temporary relief and the problem came back, I didn't do it right.  

I remember Greg talked about a case he worked with a young woman who had a lot of muscles shutdown.  After a few repeated sessions, Greg had a very difficult time restoring her muscular functions. In one session, Greg noticed that she was wearing a silver belly button ring. By asking her to take off the silver belly button ring, the entire system suddenly began to work properly. At the time, Greg concluded that she was allergic to silver. 

I wanted to bring this case up because I know that I am not the only practitioner who encounter odd cases.  I am one of the odd cases myself, so was my sister who lives in California. My sister flew to Colorado to see Greg for sessions and spent thousands of dollars, none of the treatment held. I am not saying Greg's MAT is ineffective. I just think these cases are definitely beyond the scope of MAT can handle. 

A little bit of my personal opinion, I thought Greg charged my sister $200 US dollars an hour (standard price in 2002) to experiment the treatment on her, had no improvement or any results whatsoever, was a bit unethical. Of course, I think the medical industry in the United States is like this too. You pay for services, not results. I personally feel very different about my practice.  If I feel that a case is beyond my scope, I would tell them that I didn't think I can help them and not continue charging them for indefinite sessions. And based on what I found from the sessions, I would recommend them to another practitioner who uses other methods that I think may suit better for their condition. And in cases that I want to 'try to see where I can go with what i know', I would inform them that I would be "practicing and experimenting with many different modalities but no guarentee results" and offer to charge very little or nothing. 

I had always been a problem fixer in my life, in my work, and in everything else.  When I found out that MAT alone can not correct all of the muscle shutdown permanently, I realized that there were more things that are contributing to the muscle shutdown that I did not know about.  I decided to begin a journey of exploration and research.

The chiropractor I worked for taught me a lot of AK (Applied Kinsiology) skills.  He is really good with AK. in fact, his brother is one of the top AK instructors in the United States.  He recommended me to take Touch For Health. I took Touch For Health with instructors who also tough Professional Kinesiology Practice (PKP). When I completed the series of 4 TFH classes, I decided to partake PKP.  It was Touch For Health and PKP that opened my eyes about how much emotions can influence the physical body. 


Touch For Health got my eyes open about how much emotions can influence the body.

In one of the TFH classes, instructor advised us to identify something we want to change about ourselves or something others complaint about us. I remembered my husband at the time (now ex) had complained to me that "I never apologize". 

In a typical Touch for Health session, the practitioner will ask the client to set a goal.  then they will use muscle test and many balancing methods TFH provides to create synchronization between the person and the goal. Synchronization also means energy balance.  

The instructor asked me to visualize myself in a situation that I did not feel comfortable apologizing. He asked about discomfort level from 0 to 10 with 10 being extremely uncomfortable. My answer was 10. (Note#1)

So in this exercise, my goal was " I apologize with ease and comfort." We muscle tested the statement of the goal first, the result was weak.  That meant my body did not feel that the statement was "TRUE". The objectives of a TFH session is to do a "balance" and at the end of the balance, your body will feel that the statement is TRUE and your muscle will test strong. 

We followed the procedure to create energy balance towards the goal. Most of the steps involves muscle testing. It has been more than a decade since the session.  I don't remember all the details of the session. I remember part of the procedure involved placing hands at the forehead and the lower part of the back of the head with my eyes closed. The purpose of this, according to the instructor, was to stimulate brain activity to recall subconscious details that was related to the cause of the imbalance.

There were two amazing things that happened in this TFH balancing session. 

The first amazing thing was, during the brain activity stimulation, I saw and felt the following: I saw my mother beating "me" with a stick while holding on to my arm with her other hand. I was crying and screaming "I am sorry, I am sorry, I'll never do it again!" I was in pain and a lot of stress. (As I saw and felt this, tears ran down my face uncontrollably.) I also saw the surrounding was only faintly familiar to me. It was the house I lived in from my birth to age 4.  This "I" was about 10 or 11year old and my sister who is 7 years older than me, in this "memory" she was only a toddler. (This subconscious memories did not make proper sense. I will explain this detail later.)

At this instant I realized what this subconscious detail meant.  All my life, my brain and my body was equating apology to physical punishment. That explained why I had the hardest time apologizing to anyone at any circumstance. 

After the balance session, I was muscle tested strong at the statement "I apologize with ease and comfort."  and asked me to visualize myself apologizing in the situation I mentioned in previous paragraph note#1. He asked me to estimate the comfort level and this time it was down to 2 on a scale of 0-10. 

personally I think this result is quite impressive.  but what really surprised me was something else I discovered a few days after the session.

The 2nd amazing thing:

I had always defecate (yes, taking a dump) approximately once a week all through my life and I thought that was normal for me.  I attributed that to my strong digestive system.  Since that TFH balance session, I became regular everyday (or almost everyday with occasional laps).

So I thought to myself: If "I felt so uncomfortable to apologize and so I refuse to apologize in many situations, and that equals to a physical manifestation of chronic constipation, what other emotional issue are there that are contributing to all of human's physical ailments? Can emotional issues contribute to muscle shutdowns? "

So...... I devoted myself in finding out more in this direction. I began to explore in my clients cases.

I had so many findings I don't think I can mention enough in this blog.  I will try to mention a few later on this blog that I felt was quite significant.

How to identify a muscle weakness caused by emotional issue

First, I want to share a way you can identify muscle weakness that is caused by emotional connection.

I did not invent this. The chiropractor I worked for showed me this.

If you are a MAT practitioner, AK or other kinesiology practitioner and are testing specific muscle and not using surrogate testing. When you identify a weak muscle, have client use one hand and touch an inch under their either eye (emotional point) and hold it.  Test the muscle again while client touching emotional point. If the muscle test strong this time. It means this muscle weakness is related to a certain emotional response or an event that is quite emotional. 

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I do want to take a few minutes to explain the unconscious memory that I discovered during TFH balancing session.

to save you the trouble scrolling back up to find the paragraph, I am just gonna repost it here in a lighter green color.

The first amazing thing was, during the brain activity stimulation, I saw and felt the following: I saw my mother beating "me" with a stick while holding on to my arm with her other hand. I was crying and screaming "I am sorry, I am sorry, I'll never do it again!" I was in pain and a lot of stress. (As I saw and felt this, tears ran down my face uncontrollably.) I also saw the surrounding was only faintly familiar to me. It was the house I lived in from my birth to age 4.  This "I" was about 10 or 11year old and my sister who is 7 years older than me, in this "memory" she was only a toddler. 

OK, you would probably say this totally doesn't make sense.  It didn't make too much sense to me either at the time when I felt it. I tried to make sense out of it and spent a lot of time revisiting my experience. 

Why would I see my older sister when she was a toddler? She is 7 years older than me.  I wasn't even born yet when she was a toddler. So if this "I" in this subconscious memory wasn't me, who was the one that was beaten by my mother? Why would I see and feel the experience from this person's perspective?

I figure out the answer to the 2nd question.  That was my brother's memory. He was the one being punished and beaten by my mother.  About the question "why would I experience this memory as the first person?", I really don't have a proper answer.  I speculated a few possibilities. However, no one can ever tell me which possibility is the correct one. 

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I was still puzzled by the memory of punishment and how it relates to chronic constipation.  So my Journey begins.... more than a decade of research on the relationship between memories, meridian/energy pattern and physical ailment. 

Yes, I have a lot of stories to share.  I just hope that time will allow me to continue to write and share these findings.

For MAT practitoners

Hi, Ya'll

I graduated from the third MAT internship and got my MAT therapist cert right away. I think it was 2002. It's been a while now.  I completed RTSM certification (2000 or 2001 I think) before I took MAT internship.

Towards the end of our internship, I hosted a newsgroup for MAT internship graduates so we could discuss and exchange information.

As soon as I finished the internship, I was hired on by a chiropractor who use AK as his primary practice. He taught me a lot of AK skills. I shared some of the AK methods in the newsgroup.

When I found out many of MAT muscle testing positions were published in an Applied Kinesiology book published back in the 80's, (one of my boss's text book from chiropractic school). Like an idiot, I also shared this information in the newsgroup. I questioned Greg's claim regarding his sole contribution in developing MAT.

Greg decided to recant my certification and publicly state that I was not qualify to be a MATT. This is why you can not find my name in MAT certified therapist list on MAT website. You can ask anyone in the third internship if I was in the class with them.

I am not sure if it is legal for him to "recant" my cert based on personal disagreement. Quite frankly, I don't think so. However, his action lead me to question this his integrity.  I figure I really don't care to be listed on MAT website as a practitioner anyways since I began to practice a combination of many forms of kinesiology and felt that I certainly wouldn't want to be seen as a practitioner limited to only MAT therapy.

In the following few years, the focus of my work shifted to research energy body and emotions that influences our physical body. Eventually I developed a process I called Neural Emotional Reprogramming (NER).

My life and work continued to shift by its own nature.  I developed a very strong intuitive ability after years of kinesiology, spiritual journey and personal development. I became very sensitive to energy patterns and emotions. When I close my eyes and focus I can see vibrational waves of objects. I can access information that is in radio format around people's energy body.  There are many other intuitive abilities I have that can not be described with words. (Thanks to these intuitive abilities I was able to develop a few energy products so that I do not have to tie myself down with a job.)

Anyways, it is over a decade since I began this journey,  I felt that I had some very precious experience and research finding that I can share with other practitioners, so I decided to start a section in my blog called "For MAT Practitioners" in case some of you might be interested in my findings and may want to discuss about it.

If you are wondering if I was trying to sell you my Neuro-emotional Reprogramming(NER). The answer is NO.  I am semi-retired and have a whole different life interest now.

I am sure I am not the only MAT graduate who strayed away from MAT. Hummm! somehow I don't think "strayed away" quite fit the description.  I think "expanded it" may suit the description better.  In the same internship I was in,  there were a few graduates that I knew of also took very interesting kinesiology classes.

After a few of us who had taken other forms of kinesiology and had been discussing with one another, I heard it through the grapevine that Greg decided to make his students agree not to take other forms of kinesiology.  I am not sure exactly what he did.  Anyways, you are welcome to chime in and let me know if you like.

Besides my experience and research findings, I will also share some of the methods that I developed, and/or modified from other methods I learned. I will be periodically posting articles and I will always post the link on my facebook page. If this is what you are interested in reading, please feel free to follow me or add me.

Disclaimer: By the way, this is Sunny's blog. Freedom of speech is God given.  You are welcome to leave remarks kindly or unkindly. Just remember, I do have the right to delete your remarks if I so choose. :o)  I am also not obligated to answer any questions or malicious provokes. Thank you and enjoy your day. 

The Way I Live My Life

Everyone has their own way to live their lives; their own way to process things, and their own way to grow.  I am not saying my way is better.  Just sharing my thought and maybe you will find something that benefit you somehow.

Years ago, I found out the way I related to people was complaints and telling misfortunate stories of my life.  I learned it from my mother because that was the only way she knew how to connect to people. When I saw that of me, I was shocked.  I decided that this is not going to be my way of life.

Through years of reading self-help materials and working my personal healing, I was able to make 100% peace with myself.  Making peace, in the beginning was about finding self love, self value, self worth, self respect and self acceptance. Every time I found an issue related to these topic, I would track down the emotional programs and balance it.  I use muscle test to test on the percentage on all of subjects. It took a few years but I was able to reach 100% on all of them.

Eventually, what was important about self love, self value, self worth and self respect and self acceptance became completely irrelevant. Other's people's opinion regarding me and what other thinks of me is no longer my business.  I am immune of other's opinion of me.

This is very freeing. Yet at times, people gets really angry at me because they are not getting the response they wanted.

I am not necessarily a nice person all the time. I just be, however I am at any given time. Because I am no longer emotionally attached to other people's opinions, I would just say what I think and what I want to say. My only rule to myself is that I would not use my words intentionally hurt people. I always try to help people free themselves from their circumstance or their attachment to the outcome.

Sometimes people do expect you to say what they want to hear. People like this tend to get upset about what I said.  But that's life isn't it? I remember many times clients gets really upset about what I said and walked off without paying me.  I also often get thank you letters or positive testimony years later because they finally realized what I said helped them even though they did not want to hear it at the time.

Some people hates me for the way I am and some really loves me for it.  Isn't this how it is anyways even if you sensor your words?

I don't argue with reality.  If you had read Byron Katie's "Loving What Is" you would know what I mean.  What ever happened is reality.  If we keep saying: "You should have..." "He should have...." and "you shouldn't have...." you can just keep staying angry because what happened already happened and no one can time travel to change anything.

Anything in reality that emotionally irritates me, bothers me, There has gotta be emotional programs, certain beliefs that isn't necessary true, or past memories associations.  So I would track them down and balancing emotional programs, challenge my beliefs, or just keep rehearsing new scenarios I like in my mind so I can create new emotional associations (neural-network).

Negative emotional response to anything is a very powerful thing.  It is almost like the Universe is reminding us that we have a bomb and someone or something triggered it. We can remove the trigger, but the next time there is another trigger, the bomb still blows up. When we remove the bomb, there will be no trigger. There won't be anymore negative emotional response.

So I always use the method I mentioned on the previous articles, identify the emotional programs and balance them. When you balanced the emotional effect from the meridian dimension, the emotions disappear. The program no longer has a negative output of emotions. Occasionally the Universe would show me other methods that is more suitable for certain cases, I would adopt it right away. I think the Universal collective consciousness is definitely smarter than me.

It is really nice to have a tool like this because I had loads of programs that no longer benefit me. I am determined to clean out the programs that no longer serves as a positive influence in my life.

Here is the reason I say "programs that no longer serves as a positive influence": People tend to think that negative emotions are all negative to our lives.  The truth isn't so.  Some negative emotions can be very helpful in our lives depending on what, where and when the emotions occur.

Sometimes we are angry at something but we don't speak up.  Maybe at the time what we really need to learn from the lesson is to speak our truth. The anger plays a very important role as a motivator.  However, not every case is the same. You may ask me how you can discern the difference. When you can muscle test with a clear intention and no attachment, you can actually access that information.

I think every negative emotion had its purpose at one point. After it provided the purpose, we can release it and remove the program.

Personally, I prefer being immune to my surroundings if you know what I mean. No one can emotionally manipulate or blackmail me into doing anything. I am happy in my own skin and whatever I do. Everything I do is out of my own intention. There is definitely an unspeakable freedom in this kind of life. :o)

In the recent two years or so, I began to see how things and people around me change very rapidly after I change my programs.  I can see that there is definitely a shift in the attractor patterns and what attitude I attract from people.

I also saw myself change in the past two decades from a 90% masculine energy expression and a 40% feminine energy moving up to having 100% on both. I was a tomboy growing up.  When I was in my teens, I did not want to be a girl. when I was 50, I began to realize that even though I could live the rest of my life with the same energy set up, but I would certainly be missing out on an experience that someone with 100% male and 100% female energy can have. So I decided to look into the programs that blocks the 60% female energy and the 10% of male energy.

It was a month long personal retreat when I worked on these topics.  I did take time off whenever I feel like to. During the process, I could feel the shift in my energy as well as my physical movements. I even saw my aesthetics shifted dramatically. I began to appreciate clothing, shoes that are more feminine.

I just wanted to share my personal experience so you know that a person's personality is not set in stone.  we can change, shift and evolve. And here is a tool. 

Example of an Emotional Program

I wanted to share an experience of mine in my personal life about an emotional program that I identified and balanced recently.  Perhaps it will give you some ideas about what an emotional program is, how to identify it and what the balancing process feel like.

All of this you can do perhaps with the help of a few close friends who are not closed minded.

A close friend of mine complained that I was cold and uncompassionate when he needed comforting.

In my experience that I had previously identified, I really really dislike people who are emotionally needy, particularly those who want you to be nice and sweet to them, listen to their misery, sometimes repeated stories or something that happened a long time ago that they refuse to heal from because it is a good way to get love and attention. If you don't offer the sweetness and kindness they are looking for, their attitude turn 180 degrees around and get pissed off at you.

One of my sisters is like that.  So I decided to stay away from her.  Well, I thought I could just stay away from her and get my peace, but apparently I must have attractor patterns(also emotional program) that attract other people who would do the same to me.

So this time, I decided to take some time and look at what the program is that keeps attracting the same experience into my life. Perhaps this time, after I balanced my attractor pattern, I would finally stop running into the same kind of situation.

Normally I can access most of the programs using my intuitive ability. Occasionally, I would need to get my friends to help with brainstorming if I can not get the storyline myself.  This is one of the cases that I pretty much drew a blank. I called a couple of my friends to help me brain storm.

Having been a kinesiologist and using my intuitive ability for years, I developed a keen sense of "yes" or "no" inside.  It means, when I hear something, I would know whether it is closer to the truth, or far from truth.  Like a muscle test inside of me that tells me "yes" or "no", "correct" or "incorrect".

If you can learn to use muscle test, it would make the process much easier.  Just look up "self muscle testing" or "solo muscle testing" on Youtube.  It does take time to practice to get the proper force application. Muscle testing is NOT something you can master in minutes.  When I learned the one-hand-solo muscle testing, it took me almost a month of everyday practice. (A few minutes a few times every day.)

Basically, you can converse with the Universe using "play 20 questions" kind of way. An emotional program can be short or long.  Sometimes it is only one scene with a feeling, sometimes it can be a long played out story with lots of twist and turns. Jut remember, if it is a long one, be sure to ask the Universe whether you have enough information to start the balancing process.

So, here it is:

In this story(program), I was a concubine of a prince in a small country somewhere in Europe in the 9th century.

The prince had many wives. One of them was my sister, who is not only emotionally extremely needy, she also somehow figured out how to sweet talk and manipulate the prince to give her whatever she wanted all the time. She gained some political power, which was what I wanted. I resented her for that.

I was emotionally disconnected but had a very clear analytical mind. I despised my sister's behavior and stayed distance with her and the prince.  The reason I was married to the prince was because the prince's father, the king, valued my analytical ability.  He consulted me in many of his political decisions and had great results. I agreed to the marriage because I was ambitious about political power.

Because my sister's won most of the prince's attention, other prince's wives had became very jealous of her. The main wife decided to plot a conspiracy against her.

The main wife of the prince took an opportunity when the king's daughter, the princess, went on a trip.  She and another concubine set up a fake murder evidence of the princess' dead body. She framed my sister for the murder. The king was enraged and killed my sister, burn me to death and executed everyone in my family.

Later on the king found out that the other concubine was the one that set up the fake evidence, he thought she was the only conspirator. So he executer her too. However, Prince's main wife was never caught for her involvement in plotting the fake murder.

Connections between Emotions and Body

I was a fitness trainer that studies advanced biomechanics.  please refer to "Neuro-Emotional Reprogramming" for my background information.

At young age, I used to talk to people who were deceased. I couldn't see them but I could communicate with them if they want to communicate with me. I had a couple of ghost friends at the time. They were all children.  As schooling got busy and competitive, I no longer had time to bum around. Eventually I forgot that part of my life.

Growing up, I had trouble reading and memorize text, but I had picture memory and was really good with object and spacial relationships. Needless to say, I always scored high in geometry and barely made my grades in Chinese Mandarin. It is not until later days when I realized that I am somewhat dyslexic. I still am. Many people ask me, how can you write? Well, I don't have trouble writing. Maybe I write at a slower pace than others.  I do, however, have some difficulty going back to read it and proof read my writing.

When I was studying biomechanic, I learned that human have a limited neurological effort.  If one does shoulder press sitting on a bench that supports his back, he can press a lot more weight than doing the same motion while standing. One shoulder presses less weight while standing because some of his total neurological effort is spread to keeping his whole body stable so that there are less strength available for the shoulder press.

Through the experience of my work, I realized that this situation also applies to our brain activity.  We have limited neurological effort available for our brain. When we are really good at something, we are bound to perform poor at some other things.

Like me, I am really poor at memorizing text, names of people and places, titles of songs, books and movies. however, I am brilliant in biomechanics, common physics, special visualizations, associations and correlations, logic processing, independent thinking. I have picture memories, and I remember people's voices and can recognize their voices after many years. I am really good at seeing things in a whole picture and broader perspective.

I have observed people in their brain power in my everyday life as well.  I have noticed that there are many people who are really good at memorizing text of certain information, yet they can not read a map or are directionally challenged. Some are math genius yet are emotional idiots.

I came to a conclusion, I accepted limitations as normal and focus on what is great and powerful. I do this for me, and I treat other people around me with the same principle. I longer ask them to be a certain way, simply, sometimes they are just not capable. Of course, some argue with me about my conclusion. True limitation is normal. Not everybody can learn 20 different languages and not everybody is a math genius. Instead of pushing them to perform better at what they have trouble with, I accept their limitation and try to find out what their brain is good at, and push for that potential.

I even visited an autistic care center and spent time with the clients.  I found out that some of them are brilliant in mind power or have super extra sensory awareness.  Their brain may look malfunction in some ways.  They are brilliant in things that we can not comprehend.

Six Steps to Balance Emotional Programs

You have read "Origin of Human Emotional Response", perhaps you have identified something in your daily life that you have an emotional response to.

I need to stress something here.  Even though Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is widely available and many people teach it to balancing emotions.  From my experience, I found that EFT is often effective in releasing onset undesired emotions, but it is hardly ever balancing the root of the problem.  What I am trying to explain here is, if someone has a trigger of some sort, once triggered by an event or person, EFT can be effective in releasing the emotions.  However, next time the person come across a similar event or situation, the same emotional response will happen again.  And if you use EFT over and over on a recurrent issue, it eventually became ineffective.

In my experience, when we can identify the emotional program that is creating that certain emotional response and balance the program either with EFT or other healing methods, about 90% of the time, that emotional response will not reoccur. Even if it does, it is drastically reduced and/or has a very different emotional response.

After the program is balanced, when we encounter a similar event and had a different emotional response, it means that there are other emotional programs that is related to the emotional response of this event, or just more than one layer of emotions that required balancing.

It is common that one emotional program (meaning one storyline) can have many layers of emotions.  Some programs may have 10 or more layers.

And if we can muscle test (self-test or test by a practitioner), we can easily find out whether the entire emotional response (multiple layers of emotions) is completely balanced or not. If not, you can continue to dialogue with the body and find out what else needed to be done to complete the healing/balancing process.

Emotional Program Balancing:

Identify an incident or event that trigger an undesired negative emotional response within you.

Identify the emotional programs using the process mentioned in Origin of Human Emotional Response , you would muscle test for the number of emotional layers. Each layer usually requires one balancing process. So if you identify 8 layers of emotions, it means that you may need to do 8 balances to resolve the issue completely. You usually can only feel one emotion, even if you had muscle tested and received information for many layers. When you finish balancing one layer of emotion, the next layer of emotion will then surface.

Before you begin the tapping sequence, please make sure you focus on one single feeling in the emotional program. Set your intention on balancing this feeling in the program, and simultaneously think or recite “I completely love, accept, respect myself.”  (Self love statement -SLS). 

And if you can create a connection to ONEness feeling, that would be even better. If you can’t yet, don’t worry about it. 

 

During the tapping process, please allow plenty of time to observe and pay attention to the physical/energetic feeling and shifts in the body. When you feel a shift, then move on the the next step of tapping.

Tap repeatedly at a pace that is comfortable and not distracting for you.

Step 1:


Tap your two hands together as pictured.

Focus in on the feeling and recite the self love statement -SLS a few times during each tapping point.

“I completely love, accept, respect myself.” 

Move to the next step when you feel an internal shift.

Step 2:

Use 4 fingers each hand, tap each side of your head above your ears.

Focus in on the feeling and recite the self love statement -SLS.

Move to the next step when you feel an internal shift.

Step 3

Use 2 fingers to tap above and below the lips at the midline of your face.  

Focus in on the feeling and recite the self love statement -SLS.  

Move to the next step when you feel an internal shift.

Step 4

Use 3-4 fingers to tap your thymus.  It is located between your sternum and collarbones, at the midline of your chest.  

Focus in on the feeling and recite the self love statement -SLS.  

Move to the next step when you feel an internal shift.

Step 5

Tap the five fingers of both hands together. 

Focus in on the feeling and recite the self love statement -SLS. 

Move to the next step when you feel an internal shift.

Step 6

Hold the position of all the finger tips touching and wait until you feel the feeling you were releasing is completely dissolved.

Next:

Move on to the next feeling and repeat the tapping process until all of the feelings in this story line completely disappear.

Important Notes:

1. It is highly recommended to use muscle test to access information on
     a) how many layers of emotions is in this program?

     b) Are there more than one program to work with?

     c) whether it is important to identify a word to describe the emotion?

     d) Is the process complete?

2. Identifying an emotional program may take a few minutes. Occasionally it may take longer, or takes a bit of conversation with friends or a skilled practitioner to help you identify the reoccurring pattern and help guide you to find it.  If you muscle test and receive an answer that the program is not ready to be released or balanced.  That means this emotion still has certain function in your life that is very important to your life or your spiritual growth.

3. One balancing sequence should take somewhere between 2-5 minutes. Occasional emotional outburst is common.  When you encounter an emotional outburst, just stay with it and continue the tapping process. If you feel that you need to let the emotions flow, feel free to do so. Then resume tapping when you are ready.

4. If you can not identify the emotional program at all, go ahead and work with the feelings first. Then go back and try to identify the emotional program again. Sometimes the program will surface at a later time. Occasionally, it is not necessary to identify the program. It is best to muscle test to access the information.

5. If you are working on an emotional response to a current event, and not focus on the emotional program, this process can only relief you temporarily.  It is crucial to focus in onto your emotional programs in order to receive a permanent effect.

6. Very often emotional response that comes from an emotional program also had developed associated memories of neural network. You should ask the body using muscle test whether you need to continue to mentally rehearse a new desired scenario/emotional outcome in your mind and create new neural networks.